People are getting older, and this fact can not be dined. Those who say that in their forties they feel like in their twenties are just deceiving themselves and everybody else, and this especially concerns women. Why do women have a tendency to come back to their past? Is there any reason for you to mentally return to the time when you were young, immature, had no experience and proper job? Of course, perhaps you recall the moments of your youth because you were more attractive, could were different clothes and makeup, and men were admiring you. But if you do, it means that you didn’t get any better. Every woman should get more attractive and sexy till the time she is forty, and this is a necessity. You have to regard your youth as something very good and positive, but far not as good as your life today. If you don’t, there is still plenty of time to change and become a woman who is proud of her age.
Young women are very naïve and have little life experience. They are still green and their principles are to a great extent childish. Young women, if you are reading this, I don’t mean to offend you, I am just stating a fact, and you will agree with me when the time comes. There is nothing bad about being either younger or older, every age has its pluses and minuses. In comparison with the young, midlife women know what they want, have established viewpoints, and mostly have children. They are simply stronger.
The common stereotype is that only young women have fun, and after you are forty this option is somehow closed for you. But this is not more than a stereotype. If you are not stylish, fun, enjoyable, smiling, optimistic and confident in your forties, well then you should be. Don’t be afraid to break stereotypes into pieces, and people will admire you and speak of you as of a wonderful person. You can still go out with friends, visit disco parties with your spouse, do the shopping on weekends with your girl friends, chat on the phone for pleasure, play cards with your family and have satisfactory sexual life.
It is extremely sad when midlife women do not have respect of themselves. They simply try to ignore their inner voice which tells them that this is not the life they want to live, this is not what they want to be. Getting older is an inevitable process, but you have to stop associating the word “old” with such words as old-fashioned, pessimistic, wearing baggy clothes, having no sexual life, unattractive and depressed. This is just another stereotype, and you are strong enough to break it, I am absolutely sure.
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Some women that are over forty feel themselves old, when in fact they really shouldn’t. You feel that the people’s attitude towards you is changing. People started calling you madam. You no can no longer push yourself into your favourite little dress. Your children are either in college or already have their own children. It is wonderful to be a granny, but the result is the same- you feel yourself old. Actually a woman in her forties is by no means old, but this feeling can be cause by different factors. Here is what you can do in order to feel younger every day:
• Enjoy yourself. All the women have a genetically caused need to take care of the others a lot more than of herself. Not every woman behaves in this way, but the maternal instinct is a very strong thing and as a rule it extends not only on the children, but to the other members of the family, employers, employees, and anyone they can reach. Think of how much time you devote to your family and how much to yourself. Family is very important, but isn’t it time to have a bit relaxation? Over forty years of hard physical and mental labour is a lot. If you don’t enjoy your life now, than when? Just start doing something that you have never done before. Take up a hobby that you are interested in. Pamper yourself more often, participate in social life, and your body and soul will be grateful.
• Change attitude toward yourself. Many women start panicking when they understand that the things that worked for them ten years ago do not work any longer. This can be trivial small dress that you can not get into. Women feel that as they get older their ideas, views and principles start being somewhat out-of-date. They become victims of a common stereotype – a lady over forty is someone wearing ankle-length skirt and a one-piece swimsuit. Stay yourself in everything, you don’t have a single reason to change. Your body will look beautiful in new stylish clothes that suit you a lot, and your viewpoints and ideas are something very valuable, and however old they seem to be, this is just an illusion in the world where everything is forced to change.
• Take care of yourself. The reason of feeling old can be in the banal bad sleep, ban nutrition and bad physical shape. If you are constantly tired, your muscles are strained and you sleep a couple of hours a day, you would probably feel old even if you were twenty. A ten-minute exercise program every morning and evening will make you feel a lot better. Eating a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables is very necessary for your body, and you had better eat foods rich in vitamins and microelements, because even food supplements can not substitute for these foods. Try to organize your day in a way that will permit you a six-seven hour sleep. You will be amazed how much it helps to feel young.
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A lot of women fear of getting older. It is curious that mostly these are not the middle aged or elderly women – in most cases they are women in their mid twenty’s and early thirty’s. This is because a woman is most flourishing and youthful in that period, and of course she is afraid to lose these qualities. Besides, nowadays everything is about being beautiful, young and thin – this is what the mass media tell us and what we think we believe. There are even dreadful cases of eighteen year old girls having botox injections in order to prevent early wrinkles (Dear God, just think of that!).
Yes, your body and your soul will change with age, but who made you believe that it is bad? Of course you should always keep good look and lead healthy lifestyle in order not to turn into a bone yard after you are fifty. I’ve personally seen women over seventy who look that stunning and attractive that it is hard to believe that they looked any greater when they were young. If you experience some fears of getting older, here are most common of them:
• Loss of youth. As stated above, woman gets even more beautiful with age. Turn around, and you will see gorgeous women like I’ve described above. Maybe they are few, but what makes you believe you won’t be one of them?
• Loss of freedom. You can’t even imagine how this fear is pointless. On the contrary, you will get more freedom with age! Your children will be grown up and independent and you will have plenty of time for yourself.
• Loss of identity. With age you will reveal more and more beautiful traits in yourself. A person hardly can cognize oneself through lifetime, if ever, and believe me – a lot of interesting discoveries are waiting for you.
• Excess weight. This is not the rule of thumb. Weight gain as you are getting older is a result of neglectful attitude towards yourself, and sometimes a hereditary trait, but everything depends on you and your will to work at yourself.
• Loss of style. As you live your life further you understand that fashion is just a fleeting fancy, and you begin to be superior to it.
As you live your long and exciting life don’t forget that first of all you are not a mother, not a wife, not a daughter, but a woman. Give yourself a pleasure of just being yourself and living to your pleasure. Go out with friends, laugh, read good books, sleep a lot, work out, participate in social life, in general – live your life without regretting anything good that has ever happened to you and continue to bring good into your life and the lives of the others.
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I devote this article to the women who are soon going to be or are already forty. Many women consider this to be the beginning of middle age, but as to me life is only beginning after forty, and these are not just words! If you are scared or depressed, I totally understand you. But I will try to show you that life goes on and give you some advice on how to stay positive and enthusiastic about your age.
The thing is that everything totally depends on your personal attitude. If you convince yourself that after forty your life is going to change and something terrible (or wonderful) is going to happen – you may have no doubts that it will be so. But if you just keep on living in spite of the fourth “zero” in your life, it will go on like it was before.
Yes, some things are going to change. Your skin will probably not be as clear, shining and smooth as it was 15 years ago, and your body will meet certain transformations too. But who told these changes are bad? I’ve met hundreds of women in my life that started looking really beautiful and gorgeous only after forty, as they have turned into real, powerful women! You just have to meet these changes calmly and with a sense of humour and start paying more attention to yourself.
If you wish, this new decade will bring a lot of changes into your life, and it is up to you to decide whether these changes will be positive or not. Look at this optimistically – you are a wise woman now, and the fifth decade of your life is a great opportunity to find more relaxation, to change some of your principles, to accept yourself as you are, to deepen your relationship with family and friends (and if you don’t have family yet, is there more favourable age to settle down than now, when you are independent, wise and beautiful?)
There are plenty of things you can and should improve in your life after forty. Here are some pieces of advice that can be very helpful if you are still afraid:
• Love yourself and work at yourself, but never be too strict to yourself.
• Love the others for no particular reason.
• Joke and laugh – this is totally appropriate at any age.
• Read a lot, and try to read more quality classical literature.
• Never look back, because you can’t change the past, but your future is in your hands.
• Don’t worry to much – live for your own pleasure.
• Spend a lot of time with friends who give you best emotions.
• Deprive yourself of all negative feelings – you are wise enough to treat the life philosophically!
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