How long has it been?
How long since you lifted your face to the sky and laughed a big, belly shaking laugh. How long since you spread your arms and felt so elated you wanted to fly? How long since your heart lifted into the heavens with delicious self esteem and overflowing gratitude for life itself?
It may have been just this morning. If so, I’m delighted for you. But if it’s been a little longer than that, then it may be time for a little re-education about joy.
Happiness is not a place. Nor is it a thing. You can’t buy it, and you sure can’t sell it.
It’s a process. And it only occurs when other things are present in the right proportions. Trouble is, there’s no recipe. You do certain things, and happiness just spills out, so what produces joy today may not work quite the same tomorrow.
Some things are commonly found together with happiness; things like generosity and kindness, like healthy self esteem and helping another person, or like doing an outstanding job. But it doesn’t work if we go at it mechanically like a recipe. We’re not baking biscuits — we’re making a life, so the rules are dynamic rather than static.
In fact, happiness is most likely to come when we’re not thinking about it at all, a kind of by-product or side effect. But when it comes, there’s no doubt at all in your mind; you know you’re happy.
You know how your car has a warning light when your oil gets too low? Or a buzzer (or maybe a voice) telling you a door isn’t shut all the way?
Well, think of happiness as an indicator light telling you when you’ve got things right. If your Joy Light isn’t on, something is out of balance in your life, and it’s time to start changing things. And if it is on, just relax and continue with whatever you’re doing.
Happiness is feedback. It’s very pleasant feedback, but that’s all it is. It’s like an actor getting good reviews. The critic’s kind comments are not why he performs; however, they’re nice when they come. So he enjoys them but keeps moving forward, striving to be an increasingly better actor.
Think of happiness like a theater review, and it’ll be easier to keep things in perspective. Just keep performing to the best of your ability, learning your craft, polishing your abilities, growing your self esteem, moving forward. The happiness will spill out while you’re busy being who you really want to be.
by Charles Burke
Charles BurkeLevel: PlatinumCharles Burke, retired and living in Thailand, is the author of “inside the Minds of Winners” and “Command More Luck. His blog is located at …
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