Our self esteem is based on our inner self talk. What we tell ourselves, rather than what other people say to us is the major influence on building a healthy self esteem
Gain Self Esteem Through Personal Development
The human body and mind has a vast potential to improve – constantly, time after time, all through life. Whether it is through learning or through new skill development, personal development is a never ending process. And if you wish to improve your standing in your own eyes, self esteem improvement is the most important factor.

For all of us the training we receive between the ages of one and five years and also beyond is like a cage bound training. Parents tend to turn down our jumps towards expressing our potential with negative comments like “You are being naughty” and “You just can’t do anything right.” The result is we rarely develop to our full potential. We become like the trained circus animals that work only move and work as they are trained to.
Yet there is a difference between the animals and us – that of awareness. Animals rarely become aware of the fact that they can change their conditions. Humans on the other hand – as soon as we become aware of our potential, we try to take corrective action. We make changes in our behavior to effect our personal development and try to extend ourselves to reach our full potential. The ability is within us to free ourselves.
Self esteem is the key that can help free us from this limitation. The image of where we wish to see ourselves is formed in our mind right from childhood but gets covered under the dust of bondage. If we can’t see ourselves in the position we want and are far away from it, our self esteem tends to be low. On the other hand, achieving or being very close to achieving what we want can lead to very high self esteem and confidence. And the higher our self esteem, the higher grows our efficiency and competence. If we loose self esteem, we also loose our efficiency and self-confidence. So it is very important to constantly work at self esteem improvement.
We tend to first think and then take action, but this is very effective only when we have positive thinking. But when we fall into negative thought processes, we need to act contrary to our thoughts. This is most important when we have lost confidence in ourselves and doubt our ability to do things. Being at low self esteem is the perfect time to accept that certain things like your own confidence and happiness are much more important than fear.
While fear can never be totally eliminated, beginning with small steps to remove it can help build confidence and self esteem and help your personal development. For example if you are afraid of the dark then you need to take action to drive away that fear. You can start out by staying alone in the twilight for a few minutes each day. Keep on increasing the time you spend in the dark slowly but surely. As you spend more and more time, your confidence will increase and over time, you will be able to drive away your fear of the dark.
Another important thing to do for personal development is to start analyzing your thoughts – especially the negative ones. Stop yourself as soon as you have a negative thought and analyze why it came. Then rethink and find the right positive thought. It is necessary analyze every negative thought and get into the habit of replacing irrational thinking with clear, analytical thinking.
Last but not the least is the willingness to make the effort. All personal development and self esteem improvement can only come from us. We have to develop self discipline by doing those unpleasant yet necessary tasks. There is no such thing as “no self control.” No one can force us to lose our control. We tend to blame others and circumstances for our position but in the end, we have to take responsibility for our actions. Only we can create our future by taking control of our lives with self discipline, integrity and the right action. We may like to blame circumstances instead of taking responsibility for our actions, but the only way to succeed is to create the future by taking control of our lives with self-discipline, integrity, and right action.
by Ian Koch
Ian Koch is a sociologist and web publisher who writes Self Help Articles. Check out 1st-Self_Improvement.net for more.