Exuding confidence is a gift not all people have. While some are fortunate to have this gift, others try to learn ways  to have confidence in themselves. To be confident is to have a high self esteem, self respect and a sense of self-worth. These kinds of people are somehow, unassuming. They are not the boastful, arrogant types, but instead, they are kind and respectful towards others.

Being confident gives you an opportunity to achieve what you want. It also allows you to have a trust in yourself in making decisions and choices. They are open to mistakes and be able to work on it to make it better. When they stumble and make a mistake, they use it as way of learning and growing from it. It is basically being human, in ways of accepting their weaknesses.

People without confidence find it hard to climb up the ladder of success. What made them that shy, anyway? Low self-esteem can be traced from their family orientation or background.  They were probably raised feeling as though they are not good enough, surrounded with unloving and unsupportive people. They can be self-destructive, and it often manifests itself as negativity.

The good news is, low self esteem can be developed into an oozing confident personality. It can be learned and built on. Confidence grows if you have the right people around you equipped with the right tools.

Start by doing what you think is right, even if others mock or criticize you for it. In the first place, it is your world, not theirs.  Dismiss the bad thought you think that others might be talking against you. Block these ugly thoughts and erase them out of your mind.

Being willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things. Be brave enough to admit your mistakes and learn from them.

Wait for others to congratulate you on a job well done instead of extolling your own victories. And accept compliments graciously. Be in good company who will boost your morale.

Give yourself a treat. Pamper yourself to a spa or salon. Wear a new outfit. These ways can help boost your personality and confidence. It can make you feel you are beautiful. Do something that is aligned with your passions. Be employed in the job that you love doing.

Start from very small goals and make it in the habit of setting them, achieving them, and celebrating that achievement. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Besides, we are all unique individuals and we have different levels of confidence. Don’t rush it. It’s just a matter of time.

But be sure to remember, confidence doesn’t come overnight. It is a learning process and it is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. And what’s even better is that the things you’ll do to build self-confidence will also build success. No-one can take this away from you!

Popular culture has told you to create a vision board. Everyone is doing it. You are supposed to collect representatives of everything you want, pin it on a corkboard and sit in front of it in a dreamy state and get all tingly thinking about having it all.

But… rather than feeling all grateful and expansive, your vision board simply irritates and frustrates you because you feel disconnected to saying thanks for stuff you dont have.

Besides, you dont have time to flip through magazines looking for perfect pictures of the perfect stuff to cut out.

And another thing… whats with the affirmation thing anyway? You feel like a fraud standing in front of the mirror saying you are beautiful and you love your belly…

So, you ask? “Am I the only one who doesnt get this?” Does this mean I miss out on all that Law of Attraction stuff?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you… You are perfectly fine. You can relax… There is another path to the top of the hill, and it is beautifully simple.

I offer One Key Suggestion

Simply be here now.

Just think about this moment in time. Think about all the abundance you have in this moment. Take your focus off the past, off the future and just be here now.

I know and you know this is not new… but somehow, we get caught up in thinking we need to take action and follow the trends.

Right now, everyone seems to be creating vision boards, and that s great… vision boards are wonderful and powerful tools, but you need to be in the right mindset to get the most out of them.

Getting what you want doesnt have to be work… You dont have to do anything… Just be in your moment… be aware… be here now… What could be simpler than that?

Whatever task or circumstance you find yourself engaged in, look for your blessing. Just be grateful for what is right now. You dont have to write in a journal, you dont have to clip pictures; there is nothing extra that you need to spend time on.

Simply say thanks for what is now.

The beauty of this concept is that once you find your center and balance, you will get to that quiet inner state of gratitude in the moment and the Law of Attraction will line up more events, thoughts, circumstances for you to be grateful for… momentum will take over.

You dont have to chase your dreams; they will come to you once you place your focus on what you are grateful for in this moment. I once heard that nothing that you really desire is to be found upstream anyway, yet this is exactly the way most of us approach life.

Our desires are all downstream… just allow yourself to let go and go with your beautiful flow.

Regardless of your present circumstances, you have much to be grateful for at this exact moment. Put your focus there and stop overcomplicating your life.

When you are in a mindset to take more on, everything you need is waiting for you.

Relax… appreciate… feel grateful… invite more to be grateful for into your experience.

Namaste.

Your self-esteem is very important in the level of confidence you will have throughout your daily life. It is the way you view and feel about yourself that will have a very profound effect on how your life will proceed each day.

The opinions and experiences that you have gathered since child hood from family members, school, your friends and society as a whole plays a part in developing self-esteem but how you take it all in and view those opinions determines your self esteem.

We seek encouragement and approval from others especially parents and role models as we are growing up and this plays a huge roll in the development and the building of self esteem as we try to build confidence within our selves.

As teens and into adult hood there is a constant barrage of commercials, opinions from others, family members that we should be slim, dress fashionable, be financially successful and if we are having problems living up to all this it can and does have a impact on our lives and leads to low self esteem.

The opposite is also just as true that if we have managed to live up to this expectation it can and sometime does lead to pride in our ability and in ourselves but friends and society can view us as being arrogant and conceited and resent us for being so successful and this can have an effect on our self confidence.

Your self-esteem will fluctuate daily and is highly affected by other people and events of the day but you are in total control of your self confidence and self esteem levels, it is up to you to determine if you will allow these events to control your life.

Just as rejection and loss can be underlying factors for low self esteem success and achievement can great boost you to higher levels of confidence and self-esteem.

However how we feel solely about ourselves is also determined by our relationships we have with others and if we are felt worthwhile as individuals. We are humans and we have a natural instinct to be wanted and included as well as wanted to contribute and be a value member of society that makes a difference, we want to feel that we matter.

Many people seek out a life coach or a confidence coach to help build self esteem and to build confidence and while this is great for I feel everyone can use help every now and then what every one must realize is that change is not easily accomplished.

Change means stepping outside of you comfort zone and this can lead to more selfesteem issues. This is why goal setting is very important when developing self esteem. It allows you to set small goals to achieve to eventually work you way up to the big goals you have for yourself all while along the way you gradually build your confidence levels and your self esteem to becoming the person you wish to become and also by doing this you build a inner confidence that will not be easily influenced by others and events is society.

Nothing worth having ever comes easy. If everything came easily to you then you wouldn’t value it so much when you acquired it.

You must be determined to improving your self esteem and you will soon find yourself achieving greater things as your confidence builds. Remember the way you feel about yourself also determines how others will interact with you and vice versa.

One of the best things I ever did for my self esteem issues was to finally be able to convince myself that if I was going to have the life I wanted I didn’t have time to worry about what others thought of me.

If I allowed what they thought of me to determine my actions then that meant they were controlling my life and I am the only one that controls my own life and that goes for you also.

© Copyright 2007 – All Rights Reserved Delton Doucet

Learn more about what a winning self esteem can do for you at my self esteem blog.

Everyday you’re mentally judging yourself in those areas of life you believe are important to success, happiness and over all well-being. An internal emotional score card begins.

You begin adding up the pluses and minuses of the judgments you’re making. The more pluses on this internal score card, the higher your self-esteem – the more minuses, the lower your self-esteem. You’re the one controlling the judging and calculating. How you see yourself is reflected on this internal scorecard.

Self-Esteem Emotional Scorecard Example

I’m proud of +Relationships

Education

Financial ability

Speaking in public

Positive attitude

I’m not proud of -Past career choices

My impatience

Use of time

The less judgmental the criteria for scoring the pluses and minuses, the more flexibility you give the scoring process. The harder you are on yourself, the lower the score. Looking at this internal scorecard, do you think her/his self-esteem is healthy or unhealthy?

Self-esteem becomes more negative with every minus. The healthy goal is to maintain as many pluses as possible, for as long as possible.

Over the years, this internal emotional score card changes to include new areas and categories of importance. You judge yourself based on your values and beliefs. Current self-esteem is based on what you’re holding out to be important today.

No one can bring you self-esteem; it comes from within your mind and heart.

How do you know when you have healthy self-esteem?

• Spiritually you have an inner peace.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Emotionally, you face life’s problems from a place of empowerment.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Physically, you do the things that keep you healthy and fit.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Mentally, you keep learning, growing and experiencing those things that keep you going forward in positive ways.

Unhealthy self-esteem

The healthier your self-esteem, the less likely you are to sabotage your happiness and success.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Self-Esteem:

These are general signs – everyone is unique:

Healthy: An abundance of energy, accepts constructive suggestions, can control emotions, in control of goals, a friendly person, knows who they are, self-confident and generally can control temper.

Unhealthy: Tired and drained, overly sensitive, emotionally distraught, feels victimized, unpleasant and moody, changes with the crowd, feels inferior, often angry and hostile.

Is it time to take a good hard look at your internal emotional scorecard? Here’s a rule of thumb: The healthier your self-esteem, the more positive your attitude toward achieving lasting success, happiness and prosperity. An unhealthy self esteem keeps you doubting, off-balance, wistful and distrustful. Healthy self-esteem is emotionally powerful and strong.

Sharon A. Michaels is an e-mentor to women who want to work for themselves. Sharon has over 20 years of business, speaking and writing experience on issues of ending self-sabotage, living in abundance and wealth and making money in network marketing. Sharon offers books, webinars and tele-conferences on how to give yourself the power to succeed.

You can learn about Sharon Michaels at http://SharonIsMyMentor.com

Sharon A. Michaels is also the Editor of the Abundance and Wealth site on BellaOnline.com To read more of Sharon’s articles and sign up for her weekly newsletter go to http://abundanceandwealth.bellaonline.com

Copyright Sharon A. Michaels – When using this article please give full credit to Sharon Michaels and use the bio as written above.