elf esteem is THE major challenge of our
era. It lies at the heart of many of the diverse issues and challenges we face
in life.

In fact, it is precisely because low self esteem does not seem
to be the problem, that it is so very insidious. Many people who suffer from low
self esteem attribute their life challenges to wholly different causes. It does
not even occur to them to relate their problems to how they regard themselves at
the deepest level. Instead, they blame their problems on a mean boss, racial or
sexual prejudice, a talent for choosing abusive love partners and so on.


In this way, the problem is externalized. However, doing this merely
moves a person further away from the real problem, and consequently from the
solution. Thus by disguising itself as some other more immediately visible
issue, low self esteem is never tackled and overcome. It remains to rear its
ugly head again.

Whatever challenge you face, you can rest assured that
someone else has had it even worse, and yet gone on to triumph. If so, what
prevents you back from doing the same? The answer must inevitably be – yourself.
YOU are the primary force shaping you life. If others faced similar external
challenges and triumphed, then external circumstances are NOT the primary
determiners of your life. Your attitude of mind is.

How Low Self Esteem
Arises

People with NO apparent self esteem problems may still be
susceptible at a subtle level. For example, failing to shoot for your dreams
when you were young, and settling for a safe route to an unchallenging
existence, can damage how well you regard yourself. In later life, it could
manifest in short temper, cynicism when others DO try to better themselves, and
even physical illness. However, it seems hard to pinpoint the exact problem.


At the heart of compromises such as these is the fact that you did not
believe in yourself sufficiently. In other words, self esteem issues, often
inherited from your parents, appeared at this early stage.

There are
many causes of low self esteem. We gain our predominant world-view by the age of
five. In other words, whether you consider the world to be a safe or dangerous
place, and whether you will react to events in a primarily positive or negative
manner, is determined by this age. Parents are the prime shapers of our young
psyches at this time. However, schools, society, and our peers also play an
important role. Our later experiences in life merely reinforce the core
impressions we gained at this very early age.

As the role of parents is
so vital, they need to be FAR more conscious of the consequences for their child
of EVERYTHING they do, say, or even think. Moreover, this care must begin whilst
the child is still in the womb! Parents are too often far too casual about how
they bring up their children. They unconsciously pass on their own limitations
to them as a result.

Facing The Challenge Of Ourselves

What can
you do to improve your self esteem? The first thing is to understand the
difference between self-esteem and self-image. Self-image forms as a result of
comparisons you make between yourself and those around you. It is the judgement
you make of yourself – the image you have of yourself. Sadly, it is often
negative as you can usually find someone better than you at almost everything.
Self-image in turn affects self-esteem. An easy way to understand this
difference is to look at young children. They have perfect self-esteem BECAUSE
they have no self-image. They are not continually judging themselves against
externals and falling short.

The key is NOT to work upon self-image.
This is what many people try to do. However, working on self-esteem is the heart
of creating radical change. When you work from the inside out, how you feel
about yourself in comparison with externals must eventually improve as well.


The key to improving your self-esteem is to take conscious control of
your self-talk. Negative self-talk is the prime cause for creating and
maintaining negative self esteem. The things you say to yourself in your mind,
as well as the meaning you attribute to events in your life, combine to create
the reality you end up live. Most people’s self-talk is roughly 95% negative.
They see the worst in themselves and in everything that happens. Putting a stop
to such self-destructive thinking is vital. It is our thoughts and expectations
that shape and produce what we become. The quality of our lives is a direct
result of them.

One excellent way to combat and overcome negative
self-talk is through using positive affirmations. The principle behind them is
that the brain cannot entertain two contradictory notions at the same time.
Eventually one of the two contradictory notions must win out and cause the other
to collapse completely. The belief that finally wins out is the one that you
invest with the most emotional energy and constancy of thought.


Affirmations such as:

“I like myself”
“I am a positive
person and I create a positive life”
“I am a wonderful person of immense
value who deserves to be loved”

and others like these will do absolute
wonders. Note how all good affirmations are framed in the positive. Never frame
an affirmation in the negative, e.g. “I am NOT a negative person”. The
subconscious literally cannot see the word “not” and will therefore interpret
and act upon the affirmation as if you said “I AM a negative person”!


Create a series of affirmations like this and resolve to use them
throughout the day. You can write one or more of them out ten, twenty or more
times a day. You should also take every opportunity to say them out loud to
yourself. Always do so with enthusiasm and gusto; really feeling the positive
emotions surging through your body. This is the true key to making affirmations
work in improving self esteem. Putting all your emotional energy behind them
gives the affirmations the power to destroy negative self-talk and low self
esteem.

An extremely powerful way to use affirmations is to record
yourself speaking them quietly onto a tape, perhaps with some soothing
background music that you like. Then you can play this tape quietly in the
background at every opportunity. You have effectively created your own
subliminal tape! Try playing this to yourself when you sleep at night, using an
auto-reverse walkman. The results in your life will be truly tremendous.


Recognition Of The Problem Is Halfway To The Solution

There are
many effective ways to remedy low self esteem. However, the key to success in
life is to recognize the existence of the problem in the first place! Therefore,
consider where self esteem issues may be lurking in your life, but manifesting
as apparently external problems. The key attitude for success in life is to take
total responsibility for what happens to us. We must work upon ourselves
continually in order to manifest what we want. Creating high self esteem is one
of the best things you can ever do to totally transform every aspect of your
life.
by Asoka Selvarajah, Ph.D
Copyright 2000, Asoka Selvarajah. All Rights Reserved.

None of us is born with a destiny to fail. As children we are not aware of where we exactly fit in into society. But as we reach around teenage we become aware of our appearances and of our position in society. Some who feel that they are inferior to other people around them can get stuck in such a frame of mind for the rest of their lives. It is not always about physical appearances or what we look like. We sometimes get negative feedback from people around us on other aspects of our lives, like how we perform, how we work at things like that. These comments if taken too seriously can have a heavy negative impact on the human mind.

When we find our selves in such a position in life, it is time to turn things around. Get into positive thinking by attending seminars and reading books by counselors. You could even keep a few quotes in mind, to rely on when you are feeling down. They really can give you comfort. Here are a few of them:

A. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new: These are the words of Albert Einstein, one of the most intelligent minds the human race has ever seen. This quotation encourages one to believe that failure can only mean that you are a step closer to success. So do not let your mistakes get you down, get right back on track and you will succeed the next time.

B. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission: These are words from one of the most successful Presidents of the United States of America, Eleanor Roosevelt. These words tell us that we sometimes tend to give people too much importance. If you do not take some body too importantly in your life, how could their words ever hurt you? So, refrain from listening to the words which are obviously designed to hurt you and cause you pain and misery.

C. There is nothing noble about being superior to some other man. True nobility is in being superior to your own previous self: This is a translation of a beautiful Hindu proverb from India. It keeps one from becoming proud, and this can happen if your self esteem becomes a little higher than it really should be. So only compare your self with what you were, not with somebody who is fighting his own battles. We all have different issues to overcome, and just because you overcome a few of your own issues doesn’t mean you have become better than the rest. This should never be the goal.

D. You yourself, as much as anybody in the universe deserve your love and affection: These are words of the Buddha, founder of the religion Buddhism. These words ask us to love ourselves first and then love others. How can you give love when you have none of it in you?

Abhishek is a self-proclaimed Personality Development Guru and has written several books on this topic! Visit his website www.Positive-You.com and Download his FREE Personality Development Report and discover some amazing self-improvement tips for FREE. Become the best you can become and reclaim your life! But hurry, only limited Free copies available.

The most critical characteristic in achieving any level of success in life is self-confidence. It is the secret to succeeding in both the business world, relationships and personally in your life. But unfortunately, confidence and low self-esteem problems are all too common in society today, and leave many individuals without the necessary self acceptance and strength of character to live their life on their terms.

So what does it mean to “live life on your terms?” This means expressing your natural strengths and attributes without fear or trepidation. And it is only through expressing what is natural in you — your innate skills, characteristics and desires — that you can really “succeed” in any area of life.

The opposite of expressing your personal uniqueness is to be found in many people suffering with self-confidence problems. These individuals — often unknowingly — have a habit of attempting to “cover up” who they really are, and deny their true personalities. When this happens it is a real loss not only for the individual affected, but for the rest of us as well. Here’s why:

Each of us is unique — we have our own unique strengths, weaknesses, preferences, talents and points of view. When we attempt to hide or cover up our uniqueness, we deprive both ourselves and those around us of an important part of nature. That’s right; I used the word “nature.”

You see, who you “naturally” are is important, both to you and to the world at large. Think about the old biblical quote encouraging you to not “hide your light under a bushel.” This means, don’t hide who you truly are from the world, because who you truly are is an important part of the overall whole. It can be no other way.

The problem is that we live in a world where a competitive mindset is rampant. This mindset assumes that you must conform to certain social norms in order to have any value. Hogwash! You have value simply because you are a part of nature and you are here. You can stop your internal dialogue right there — no further explanation is necessary.

The secret to success in life is to be MORE of who you already are. This means expressing your uniqueness to its fullest, or letting the whole world see your light. Self-esteem issues often cause people to fear rejection, and to believe that they will not be accepted if they let the world know exactly who they are. This belief is one the primary cause of poor self-esteem and confidence issues.

And it is important to keep in mind that when a person subjugates their natural characteristics in an attempt to “fit in,” they make themselves miserable, and they make the world a poorer place. Why? Because they are denying the rest of us what is unique about them.

What I’m trying to say is, we (the world) need your uniqueness. The world needs my uniqueness, and every single person’s uniqueness. It is critical that we each understand that our natural characteristics and unique qualities are important to the world. Once an individual understands this, self-confidence issues tend to fade rather quickly.

After all, it is difficult to maintain a poor self image when you understand that who and what you are is important to the life of the world.

Jon Mercer is the director of UltraConfidence.com Build Confidence Quickly Using “Positive Brainwashing.”

There are many ways to raise your self-esteem, but don’t you want to make it long term, make a permanent change? You can find programs that give you a short term emotional boost, but isn’t your time better spent on a plan that will make the change permanent? Read on to find out how.

Self-esteem is a word that describes self-worth, how you value yourself and how you feel about yourself. Many of the personal development issues come from the low esteem areas, people that have a low opinion of themselves for one reason or another. To get to the core of this you have to understand where these opinions originate from.

This may sound complicated but it’s not all that hard. Our opinions come from a variety of sources, but they all come to a single end point which is a thought. What do you think of yourself? What kind of thoughts do you have about your life?

Thoughts determine which direction we go and how we feel about ourselves. Thoughts pretty much dictate what we do on a daily basis. So if daily you are processing thoughts that are negative and to be more specific negative thoughts about you as a person, what do you think your level of self-esteem will be? You guessed it, very low.

What to do?

You always have choices and many times it means change. That’s the word that scares people and so they remain the same until something changes. If you continue to process negative thoughts 24/7 don’t expect anything to change. In fact you should expect things to get worse because of the thoughts you are allowing to flow in you. The key word here is allow, you have a choice.

This is not the easiest of things to do, but you can do it. Thoughts, habits, routines don’t just change overnight it’s a process.To find out more about how you can start this process.

Go to Thought Genics and find out how you can harness your thoughts for a better life. Solve problems, reduce stress and gain the peace of mind you deserve. There is a FREE report and story from a client that will open your eyes to the power of thought and the vital impact this will have on your life.

Unleash the most powerful asset you have, your thoughts. That’s where it all starts.