Posted on December 26, 2009 by admin in Self Esteem
Low self esteem can begin to develop early in childhood, long before the concept is even understood by the child. Most of the traits underlying our personality are developed in early childhood. This means that a child with feelings of low self esteem is likely to carry them into adulthood without realizing it.
A child with low self esteem needs help to realize that not everything is his or her fault. He or she needs to understand that no person can succeed all the time, that perfection is an ideal and not a goal. However, that does not mean that such a child cannot attain spectacular success in life provided he/she is given the right guidance and motivation.
Low self esteem affects a child in many negative ways:-
1) Becoming an Over-Achiever - Some parents may find this prospect as something to cheer about but be assured that prodding your child to get high grades all the time does not equal good parenting. Children with low self esteem often becomes over achievers because they feel inadequate and think that they will receive love and respect only as long as they keep maintaining their high levels of performance.
2) Addiction - Drug addiction, smoking and alcoholism are the most common signs of a child with low self esteem. Such children often turn to drugs and alcohol in order to cover up what they feel are their inadequacies. Children with low self esteem often build a fantasy world in order to feel better about themselves.
3) Vulnerable to Peer Pressure - A child with low self esteem is often susceptible to peer pressure. In their search for acceptance and attention and to avoid becoming victims of bullying, they tend to cave in to pressures from the “in” groups in order to belong to a clique that is viewed as being “cool”, even if it means indulging in unacceptable behavior.
4) Depression – Feelings of being unloved, worthlessness and alienation are a constant in children of low self esteem. They are often depressed and unable to express their feelings due to embarrassment or shame. Depression in children can manifest itself chiefly through Eating Disorders, Suicide or Hypochondria.
a) Eating Disorders – By now the terms- bulimia and anorexia – have become part of daily conversation. However, despite the awareness of these conditions by the public at large, very few realize the extent of self loathing that must exist in a person for him/her to embark on an act so contrary to the human impulse of protecting self from harm.
b) Suicide – Suicide rates among young people have been increasing steadily over the years and the constant pressure by parents, schools, peer groups and society in general to strive for and achieve higher and higher goals is difficult enough for a well adjusted child. For one with low self esteem, this can be intolerable.
c) Hypochondria – A craving for attention is a characteristic trait of those suffering from low self esteem and what better way to achieve this than by claiming to be suffering from a myriad of diseases. The fact that no one believes them after a time merely confirms their idea of themselves as being worthless and so they either look for other gullible audience or increase the symptoms of their imagined illnesses. In extreme cases, they have even been known to inflict bodily harm on themselves in order to get the attention they so desperately seek.
Why is it so urgent that people help a child with low self esteem? A problem like this is much easier to overcome right at the beginning. For one thing, convincing an adult that he or she has low self esteem could be very hard. Moreover, childhood is the training ground where the adult is molded and shaped. Surely it is our duty as adults to make sure that we do all we can to ensure that the generation following us is equipped, not just on a physical and intellectual level but emotionally and psychologically as well, to face the challenges of their age.
Learning how to set goals is essential to success and happiness in life. Without personal goal setting, we may feel lost and unmotivated. It’s part of human nature to want to grow, learn, achieve and advance our position in life. Yet so often we find ourselves stagnating and feeling as though we’re unhappy for some intangible reason. More often than not, it’s because you have failed to seek purpose, set goals and strive for something. Here are some practical tips to help you get more out of life and feel satisfied.
It is not enough to learn how to set goals: you must learn to set SMART goals, and to do so you just need to follow some guidelines. First, you must select a goal that is Specific. Instead of saying, “I want a new job,” you can say, “I want to work as a field reporter at WBTV.” Secondly, you need a goal that is Measurable, so you will know when success has been reached. You can choose your measurement by quantity, quality, cost, etc. Thirdly, your goals need to be Achievable. Setting realistic goals is the only way to find happiness. The fourth criterion is about Relevance; the goal must mean something to you and have an emotional tie for you, otherwise you will find motivation difficult. You also want to make sure you have the right resources. For example, you can’t say you want to be a WBTV reporter if you have no college experience. (Your first goal must be to get that experience.) Lastly, your goal must be Timed. With a start date and an end date, you will find added motivation.
One difficulty when people learn how to set goals is finding realistic goals. This requires a bit of research. If an individual wants to be a WBTV reporter, she must look up the job qualifications and see if she possesses them. If she hasn’t completed college, then it would be unrealistic for her to assume she can walk right into the job. If she hasn’t drawn up a resume, she cannot assume she’ll be able to meet this particular goal. In another example, if a person is unhappy in his current relationship, it may be unrealistic for him to set personal goals of finding only professional models to date. While you don’t want to sell yourself short, you need to set attainable goals before raising the bar to achieve even more. Runners don’t try to finish a marathon for their first race — they train, accomplish smaller goals and work their way up to the top!
Once you learn how to set goals, you may need to find an effective strategy that works for you, personally. For instance, if you are in $10,000 worth of credit card debt, you’re likely feeling pretty bummed out about the mountain of money owed to various credit card companies. For some people, the most practical strategy is to begin with the credit card balances that have the largest interest rates and pay those off first. This is a smart way to save more money in the long run, even though it takes longer to accomplish. Some people find it inspiring to see the biggest monkeys on their back fall off. For other people, the most inspiring way to tackle debt is to begin with cards that have the smallest balances because they can be paid off faster, their motivation remains high and the sense of personal achievement is greater.
Beth Kaminski is the leading expert in the field of treatment for anxiety attacks and treating panic disorder. For more information on tips to stop these attacks as well as how to deal with panic attacks, visit her site today.
Why do we often shoot ourselves in the foot when we are trying to achieve things that we think are really important?
There lies one of the great paradoxes of humans. Self sabotage is an all too common occurrence. Who would have thought it would be so hard to stop doing it? There is a lot more happening under the surface.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between what we want and what we need. As much as we like to think that we are consciously in control of our own destiny it is rarely so. Occassionally you find the rarest of people where it is true because their values, beliefs and conscious desires in alignment. These are those people we often envy, not just for their success in life but also because they are truly content with their lives.
Now envy is not a very productive emotion, it is unlikely to help you on your journey unless of course it inspires you to get your own act together. You must start by being proactive and looking for triggers and tools that you can use to start a dialogue with yourself.
It may sound strange but this is where it all begins. Living the life you’ve dreamed of really begins when you truly know yourself. Notice the language that I’m using, dreams can be more than just entertainment they can also be messages from your unconscious. How good would it be if you could just tap into your unconscious rather than waiting for it to send you a message? Get the right tools and you will be able to tune into the messages that reveal your innermost thoughts and desires?
You don’t have to hide yourself away in a monastery for years, or enter some mystery school. You can start using such tools today. Don’t look for short term solutions, find the right tools and they will last you a lifetime. There is no one book that has all the answers, no simple test that will reveal all.
You need to find the answers from within yourself, sometimes a little bit of gentle guidance is valuable but this is something you mostly need to do on your own. The only person who can ultimately decide if your conscious desires and unconscious ones are on the same page is you.
There is no need to aim for perfection here, so long as consciously and unconsciously you are headed in the same direction your life will turn for the better. Just be aware that some people choose to be unhappy, so not everyone is going to appear to be outwardly fulfilled.
I implore you to not be one of those people, although in all honesty I think some people are happy being unhappy and their self sabotage regime serves them well. In which if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. It’s a funny old world and each to their own.
If you’re somebody who is looking to make a positive change to your life check out the self sabotage product suite and see what you think.
Although everyone has different goals and aspirations, most people would agree that acquiring balance in their lives is a goal worth pursuing. If your life is full of disturbances and interruptions, it is nearly always difficult to acquire balance. Don’t you think it would be best to get the assistance of a life coach to keep you focussed and aid you in pursuing this major objective?
Initially, your life coach gives you a candid look at where you are now. This will be the only way for you to realize what you are looking to obtain in the future. Following your assessment of your current status in life, focus on what is waiting for you and develop a sensible plan for your future objectives. Your life coach can remain with you until he feels that your aim is achievable and rational. Finally, this is the step where you create a plan which will link the space between your current situation and what lies ahead. Your coach can help you to come up with a total tactical arrangement and comprehensive strategy. Despite the fact that the analysis could be tasking, it has a valuable place in an efficient approach for the simple reason that you should always realise your situation prior to pursuing future objectives.
The life coach poses questions designed to make you focus. Despite the fact that the questions will sometimes be difficult, they will stimulate thought. Your life coach should be made aware of how you see the world, what drives you and things which might be delaying your advancement. Such a lively conversation practice as this ought to inspire you to produce newer thoughts and optimistic habits which will be necessary as you try to develop yourself as a person. You’ll begin to see and think in a new, balanced way that’s rational and grounded in the real world. The best life coach may utilize a number of things to assist you like in person talk sessions, telephone talks, emails, and online discussions. Nonetheless, the coach will consistently come up with a plan focussed on your precise requests and desires which is purposely intended to aid you in owning up to your deeds, actions, and lifestyle. Life coaching empowers you to achieve the best for and from yourself with a supportive and objective partner at your side.
Most everyone deals with certain balance concerns with life, like coming up with a neutral place between home and work. Scores of employers are now realizing that supplying life coaching for their workers is useful in guiding them toward being more industrious and not feeling as strained on the job. The reward of having a life coach at work usually influence personal and social life, as well as mental and physical well-being. Recognising the need for balance is sometimes difficult, but once done, it informs virtually every aspect of your life in a positive way. A life coach is capable of helping with promoting better self-confidence and correcting unhelpful desires and principles.
While a life coach will be in your life for just a short while, you will accomplish a agreeable and enduring balance.
Self Growth Articles - SelfGrowth.com is the most complete guide to information about Self Improvement, Personal Growth and Self Help on the Internet. It is designed to be an organized directory, with articles and references to thousands of other Web Sites on the World Wide Web