Nothing pains much in this world especially rejection. I know that we all go through rejection in our life. It’s a part of life’s process of growth and learning. But if you haven’t experienced any rejections yet, well, I guess, you’re not living a normal life. We all get rejected from one way or another. And if you have hard times of coping with rejection, don’t worry. Here are some important tips you just might want to take in order to overcome rejection.
Remember that we all get rejected- Recognized this fact. No matter who you are, where you are, what status you come from, you will always experienced rejection be it in your work, family, or relationships. Acknowledgment is the key in coping up with any forms of rejection.
Try to have a positive outlook- Think positively. Remember, there’s always a rainbow after the rain, so don’t get drenched in the rain. Do not drown yourself with too much emotion. If you miss one opportunity in your life whether it be a new love or at career one, a new door will surely open for you. An opportunity far better than the one that rejected you, so don’t dismay. Get up there and be guided.
Cry if you must- Let your emotions came pouring in. I suggest you let your feelings out. Talk to someone who you know who could give you good advices. Friends, pastor or priest or counselor or other highly valued people and people you knew who will listen to you openly.
Walk straight and move forward- The problem with people who gets rejected is they tend to romanticize too much on their rejection issues. This incapacitates them to move forward. Of course I could not blame if you mingle over your rejection for a while, but, please, don’t hold on it for too long or else you’re bound to suicidal tendencies. Just remember step number 1.
Clear your mind. Keep it cool- After all the crying and talking with your tears, you realize that you feel much better now right? That’s great. Keep it up. Things are now lighter for you and you will be able to have a clear perspective on life sooner or later right?
Divert your attentions. Find something that interests you – Perhaps its about time you should make contact with your friends and best buddies. Try scheduling any social activities that would lighten your mood. Or just be acquainted with your old hobbies. This way you will be able to put your focus on other things other than dwelling on your rejection. When you are enjoying what you are doing, the pain of rejection is taken away.
Give yourself enough time. Do not force yourself to overcome rejection in just one night. Think. Think. Then pray. And when you feel that you are ready to let go, let go. Take a turn and move forward. Leave your rejection behind and live a happy life now. And in the event you face rejection again, you know now what to do because you have overcome it in the past.
Gardening is also another way of overcoming rejection. I really love to buy mower parts at my favorite mower parts store. They always give the gardening experience I could never imagine I could have especially right after having gone through with rejection.
If you know yourself well and you know how to control your compulsive emotional reactions, this will help you achieve far greater success in life. When you can focus and make educated decisions, you can achieve much more and go much farther with goals than previously, and your overall relationships can also be much better. Here, we will discuss some of the benefits that developing your self and voice can have on your life.
From a personal viewpoint, you can greatly increase your self-esteem and confidence. You’ll have much more positive influences throughout your life and will also be able to direct your emotions and your self positively. This will mean that you’ll feel happier and will be less likely to be depressed or bored with life as a whole. You’ll also have better overall mental health. In addition, you can see other health benefits from this type of change as well. Oftentimes, when you are emotional or stressed out with life, you can begin to show physical symptoms from this problem as well. You might have high blood pressure or contract other illnesses related to stress. However, when your thoughts and actions become focused and controlled because you have taken the time to develop your self, you will be relieved from the stresses that manifest themselves physically in this way. This means that you’ll also benefit from better physical health once you take the time to learn this type of self-control.
Professionally, you can also handle failure better and strive for success much more easily. With these techniques, you can turn negative situations into positive ones, and you can control and reach for professional dreams you might have. Your relationships with colleagues, too, will improve and you’ll become someone who is much more pleasant to deal with, and you will be much more approachable and much more likable. If you walk around with a scowl on your face, no one will want to be around you. However, with better self-esteem, you will function much better in your place of work and in your profession in general.
Your personal relationships, too, can significantly benefit from this type of development. Because of this, you can deal with all of the issues that affect relationships you have with those close to you. You can approach situations that may be difficult and emotionally entrenched with levelheaded coolness instead of compulsiveness. If you take this approach, you will make the resolution of any issues much easier and will also help the situation resolve itself instead of making it harder. If you’re not self-aware, then your natural instinct might be to go with your emotions, which can lead to anger, hate or resentment taking over your relationship. This, of course, could be disastrous.
You need a balanced approach in every area of your life, and this balance must be achieved. You can do this through self-examination and self-inquiry. When you have done this, you can become much more self-aware and be much more in control of your life. Alternatively, you could be someone who is controlled by your emotions when you’d rather not be. If you grow into yourself and become aware of self-talk, you will attain many benefits that are well worth the work to achieve this type of inner peace.
Once you have inner peace, you’ll find it easier to manage your own self-development. Take some time to explore what you might want to do through guided relaxation. You can also check out the latest neurofeedback techniques by utilizing Windows media. Simply plug in some natural sound melodies and click on the visuals.
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Building Self Esteem can be a challenge. In my experience of conducting stress management programs and counseling for over 20 years, I found that roughly 99% of those I’ve worked with felt that they needed to improve self esteem. How could this be? It’s because most of us have been taught to base our self-worth on our accomplishments, skills, physique, financial worth and earnings, ability to help others… Little wonder then when we: * lose skills because of injury; * lose a close family member on whom we’re very dependent; * lose our financial nest egg because the stock market collapses; * do poorly in a course of study; * have a bad hair day; or * don’t live up to our own expectations… we don’t feel good about ourselves and our self esteem and self confidence are challenged. Ultimately, this may: * jeopardize our health; * jeopardize our emotional well being; * set us up for failure mechanisms; * have us constantly trying to impress others; * lead to an identity crisis; * contribute to suicide; * cause chronic depression… Why is it when there are so many programs available for building self esteem and building confidence that is there a tremendous shortage of those who have self esteem? The answer is that if you analyze most programs, trainings, and techniques for building self esteem, you’ll see that they actually create the path to easily put your self esteem self confidence in jeopardy with the first calamity that comes along in your life. Five things you might want to know about building self esteem. 1. Many programs focus on having you to: * Acquire skills. * Accomplish achievements. * Change you physical appearance. * Develop a talent. * Obtain additional education… Building self esteem on something you can acquire can set you up for a big let down, life crisis, anxiety panic attack, and loss of self esteem because these things are not the essence of you but superficial. While you certainly will accomplish many things, when you build self worth the right way, you will never be at risk of losing your self esteem. While talents, skills, accomplishments and so on may come and go, you want your self esteem to be impenetrable. 2. Many programs emphasize affirmations. While affirmations are important, they can also be rejected or ineffective. One method of determining acceptance of a specific affirmation is through the use of a pendulum. It’s simply to ask your subconscious mind if the affirmation is accepted or rejected while holding the pendulum over a chart with directions for “Yes” and “No.” Sometimes it’s simply a matter of rephrasing the affirmation. 3. Evaluate goal setting. Yes, many programs use the approach of setting and achieving goals to build self worth. While it’s ok to have and achieve goals, goals in themselves can be a catch 22 in building self worth. Should you fall short of a particular goal, your self esteem is in jeopardy. While you may have and achieve many goals, your self esteem should not be dependent on them for life is more often about dealing with the plans that fall through than it is about making plans. 4. Many programs only educate the thinking conscious mind. This approach could take forever. The limbic (emotional brain) lags behind the reticular (thinking cognitive brain). When you choose a program, make sure that the program nurtures the emotional brain otherwise, the thinking brain gets smarter and you get simply frustrated because you just can’t seem to put the material into action. The Program you use should have techniques to bring the emotional brain up to date to agree with the new information the thinking brain is receiving. 5. Few programs utilize the power of hypnosis and subliminal suggestions and those that do, may not tell you what the actual suggestions are and what’s worse the suggestions may be counter productive. For instance, many use a suggestion such as, “I am not going to feel badly anymore.” Because of how the brain processes words, this suggestion focuses on feeling badly and is therefore counter productive. Or they may use a complex suggestion which is useless because the subconscious doesn’t process complex suggestions. Choose a program that utilizes hypnosis and make sure the program informs you of the specific subliminal suggestions. For improving self esteem or building self esteem, it’s important to observe (not criticize) the sources of your role models’ self esteem. It’s important to also observe (not criticize) where your self esteem has come from in the past, i.e. what makes you feel good about you and what you need to feel good about yourself. Thus you’ll understand the psychology of self worth and the causes of low self esteem. The next step in restoring self esteem and beating low self esteem is to meet your own best friend–you. It typical that we often think we are our own worst enemy. The fact is that you can be your own best friend. Now, how do you handle emotions? I mean feelings of anger, uncertainty, confusion, frustration…? Self criticism in the past may have eroded your self esteem self confidence. You want to use negative emotional experiences to empower you in building self esteem through your experience of any emotion that life can throw your way. Acknowledge your disappointments and your emotional reactions. Move through the emotional charge and use directional preference statements. Tell yourself that you want to: * learn from the mistake. * see the situation in from a different perspective. * forget about it. And that even though you may be unhappy, you still like yourself. This is your formula for improving self esteem on a daily basis. by Richard Kuhns Richard Kuhns B.S. Ch. E., NGH certified is a prominent stress management hypnosis consultant for personal change. He is the author behind the best selling hypnosis cds at http://www.DStressDoc.com and http://www.PanicBusters.com (anxiety attack).
Experts on facial expressions are not fooled by the big smiles of teen-age girls. It is evident when a girl is truly happy inside, because she has a “Duchienne smile.” With this smile the involuntary muscles around the eyes are wrinkled. And those muscles do not lie. On the other hand, fake, superficial smiles reveal a smiling mouth only, there is no twinkle and not a wrinkle. Looking at many of the photos in today’s magazines where the models often reveal fake smiles with sad eyes. BUT, this is not what teen girls notice. They focus on the perfect figure, airbrushed skin, hair and slick image. Then, unfortunately, they want to emulate that MYTH of happiness. Dr. Linda Miles has spent over thirty years as a psychotherapist dealing with such issues. In addition she has discussed this subject numerous times on national radio and television. She has a passion for helping girls and women “de-program the myths” of our beauty queen culture. She herself, as a teenager, bought into fake personalities at Leon High in Tallahassee , Florida . Faye Dunnaway writes, in her autobiography, about her trauma at the same school, where your worth was based upon your looks and money. Ironically both Faye Dunnaway and Dr. Miles were “popular” and won beauty contests, yet they both knew they were faking happiness. Dr. Miles dedicates her work to her 12 year old grand-daughter, Merritt, in hopes she can help her keep smiling from the inside-out, because, according to long-term research based only upon yearbook pictures, teen-age girls with Duchienne smiles grew up to have more fulfilling lives, better jobs, happier families and more successful marriages. Dr. Miles 8 keys for teenage girls to help improve self-esteem include: 1. LIVE PASSIONATELY AND NOT FOR PASSION: Mother Theresa wrote our best protection is a joyful heart. Ironically, research shows that teen-age girls laugh more around boys than with one another. Too many girls buy the “Cinderella fairytale” that they need the perfect Prince to be happy. 2. WAKE UP WITHOUT MAKE-UP: Girls need help to ask the questions and find the answers to- Who am I? and Why am I here? They need help and understanding as they discover their gifts and talents, and learn to share them with the world. While adolescence forces pull them toward following peers, they need help to learn how to be their own leader who follows their internal values. A young girl of 17 was recently arrested in North Carolina for armed robbery and murder, because she helped her boyfriend rob a convenience store. Violence is increasing for girls as they are influenced by peers and media images. We can provide the tools and guidance to help them wake up from feeling worthless; a state that prevents purposeful leadership and integrity. 3. STOP THE WORTHLESS DANCE: Girls decide they are worthless for many reasons, some are – comparison games, childhood traumas such as sexual abuse, the cultural beauty queen trance, or abandonment. Many young women that Dr. Miles has worked with decided they were worthless when their fathers left the family, their mothers were overly critical, they had a more beautiful sister, etc. It is important to re-trace when each girl first decided she was worthless and work on healing that lie. They need to see how they made this decision and why they developed false selves and made that real. 4. WHATS THE BRAIN GOT TO DO WITH IT?Top of Form TBottom of Fhere are huge changes in the adolescent brain as information it does not need is pruned and other connections are strengthened. The brain does not fully mature until we are in our twenties leaving teens with too much acceleration and not enough brakes! A Duke neuroscientist once shared with Dr Miles that although he was a tall adult he still thought of himself as short because he had been so short in middle school. Girls who liked themselves in elementary school often develop a false shell against the middle school assault on the developing brain. They need help to focus their brains in the direction of their purpose and dreams. To accomplish this Dr. Miles uses many techniques from journaling, self-hypnosis and affirmations. 5. DO NOT DESPISE, VISUALIZE: Dr. Miles has young women visualize their ideal life. Using a practice of meditation to relax and connect with the inner self to affirm what each girl wants, she has the girl focus on development of neural pathways toward high self-esteem. The unconscious mind is filled with negative thoughts. Many girls have few models of confident women who live with a higher purpose. A famous neuroscientist once observed, “In the brain practice makes perfect.” 6. SWEET INSPIRATION: Since the brain does not fully mature until age 23, teens are drawn to high levels of stimulation, yet lack the experience to deal with life situations. We need classes like Life 101 or Relationships 101! Instead, we spend more time teaching our children how to drive a car than how to have healthy relationships and lives! Maya Angelo should be required reading as a role model who talks about her mistakes and how she grew. She has a wonderful story about getting fired at 16 and how her Mother explained “fired “was just a word and she needed to get back out there. 7. PRACTICE THE PRESENT: Dr. Miles has girls ask themselves what is real in the present moment. She recalls wasting hours wishing she was having a good hair day! The fact is that her hair was not going to change unless she cut it off during Home Economics. Self-esteem is a construct built on the absurd…I SHOULD be thin, have straight hair, green eyes, blah, blah, blah. Girls need to be helped to deal with, What is, and NOT, What if. Dr. Miles writes in her book, The New Marriage, Transcending the Happily Ever After Myth, about her near death experience at age 52. She felt peace and self-acceptance as she KNEW the only thing that mattered about her life was how much she had loved. 8. LOVE THE SPIRITUAL AND IT WILL BE DIFFICULT TO DESPISE THE EARTHLY: Young girls need to develop a spiritual practice to focus them on the forces greater than themselves. Readings , prayer, meditation can be done alone or shared. by Dr Linda Miles Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert with a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and has worked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in newspapers and magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com.
