Ready for a boost in your self esteem? This contradicts traditional wisdom, but you have never failed.

You’ve probably had times when you didn’t achieve the goals you set. You may have self-sabotaged and undercut your own conscious intentions. But you have not failed, ever.

The reason I say this is simple, really. There is always some part of you that’s in charge of doing whatever it is that you do. You’re not out of control. That’s not even possible. When it feels like you’ve lost control, it’s just that you’ve handed over control to another set of your psychological processes (or sub-routines) and are letting them handle your life for a bit.

Am I saying you have multiple personalities? No, absolutely not.

But if you were a computer, your main operating system (your main personality) would have what we call sub-routines. These are specialized little programs that are set up to do only one or two tasks extremely well while the rest of the operating system keeps on overseeing the big job.

Well, the fact is, even though we’re not computers, we do have these sub-routines. You’ve got one that can drive you to work while you concentrate on your latest argument with your spouse, or laugh at the DJ on the radio or plan tonight’s backyard barbecue. You arrive at work and can remember almost none of the drive. Does that mean you have a multiple personality? Same answer — no, absolutely not.

Anytime we step into new territory we have sub-routines that crank up our alertness and remind us to pay attention to everything. We often think of this as a stress reaction, fear and uncertainty. That’s only natural, you say?

Well, there are some people, with a different basis for their self image and self esteem, who don’t react the same way to new experiences. They welcome them, they feel excitement, and they consider them to be positive experiences, not negative ones.

So the way we react to new experiences is very much optional. However, you may have learned a sub-routine during childhood that said, “New experiences mean you’re going to make mistakes, and mistakes are ‘wrong’ or shameful.” As a result, your mind brings up fears and negative emotions for you anytime you step into new territory.

Then you draw back, or don’t give your best effort, and you end up disappointing yourself. You know you could have done better, but you didn’t, and so that means you “failed.”

Wrong. You did what you did. But your self esteem takes the punch anyway.

When we face so-called “stressful” situations, we may have a practice of handing over control to some other sub-routine. We do that because we know the sub-routine can handle it. We don’t want to go through all that learning right now, so we hand it off, abdicating responsibility. And we even know, at some level, which sub-routine we’re giving the task to, so we’re basically choosing the exact outcome we’ll accept.

If we choose the “bungler” sub-routine, we’re choosing a bungled outcome. The “run-and-hide” sub-routine means we have opted for run-and-hide type results. In every case, the sub-routine we choose is dictated by our self image and level of self esteem.

But then, after the crisis is over, we come back out and start claiming, “I failed… I wanted to do better, but I failed.”

No, you didn’t fail — you abdicated. And the part you abdicated to actually succeeded brilliantly. That’s why I say failure isn’t even possible.

However, anytime you want to start getting different results, all you need to do is learn how to stop abdicating your authority, and maybe train a new sub-routine. We’ll talk more about that in a later article. Once you consciously take over the training and selecting of sub-routines, your self esteem begins to have room to grow and flourish.

Charles BurkeLevel: PlatinumCharles Burke, retired and living in Thailand, is the author of “inside the Minds of Winners” and “Command More Luck. His blog is located at …

For more information on how to shape your future, download the free PDF report “It’s All Good Luck – Five No-Fail Tips for Turning Bad Luck into Good… Every Time” at http://www.more-luck.com/luckyreport/

We all say we’d like a better life. We want more money, we say, and happier family relations, more friends, higher self esteem, greater confidence. We all say that…

You’ve heard the old expression: “Actions speak louder than words.” Well, our actions say that most of us don’t want everything we claim to want.

In an earlier article I mentioned doing an inventory of things you’d like to do if only you were really, really powerful. These are things that, although they’re not in your life now, they are in your highest dreams, and you would like to have them. If you didn’t make that list, now would be a good time to do it.

Let’s pretend you have something on your list like:

- I want to be CEO of a multi-billion dollar multinational corporation

- I want to start a foundation to benefit every inner city child in the world

- I want to lobby every global leader for peaceful policies worldwide

Do any of those make you draw away slightly? Maybe your reaction is an unthinking, automatic “Whoa, that’s way over my head.”

If you have dreams that feel “way over your head” when you meet them face to face, that’s good. It means you’re thinking outside your present tiny little box. It also shows you exactly where the growth opportunities for your self esteem lie.

Now, there’s generally one — and only one — reason for that over-your-head reaction. You haven’t a clue how to start on that dream. You may not even have any of the skills needed.

Again, that’s okay. It’s not necessary to know how to do things. The world is full of people who know how to do things.

But it’s not full of people who hunger to do them.

In a later article, I’ll give you a bunch of ways to break through your fear reactions and show you how to overcome any amount of inertia or low self esteem, no matter how long you’ve had it.

The most important component, however, is already inside you. It’s your own curiosity about the world and what you can do with it. It’s your own restlessness to go out and explore, experiment, and experience. Once we have fully awakened that curiosity and excitement, the other stuff is just a matter of details.

Charles BurkeLevel: PlatinumCharles Burke, retired and living in Thailand, is the author of “inside the Minds of Winners” and “Command More Luck. His blog is located at …

For more information on how to shape your future, download the free PDF report “It’s All Good Luck – Five No-Fail Tips for Turning Bad Luck into Good… Every Time” at http://www.more-luck.com/luckyreport/

Do you have any idea of your true potential?

You have it within you to be far, far more than you have ever given yourself credit for. Instead most of us allow our self esteem to be battered to the floor.

We’ve all seen the estimates. Scientists have told us for years that we use just five to ten percent of our total brain capacity. At that rate, we should all be towering geniuses. But most of us don’t tower in the slightest.

Newer studies, meanwhile, indicate we may have far more mental horsepower than the earlier figures indicate. Researchers now believe our thinking is done holographically. This means a thought process may be spread over a wide area of the brain, and that dozens of different processes may concurrently be using overlapping areas of our gray matter simultaneously. If your brain truly is a hologram, then there is virtually endless capacity in your head.

But when you read this, do you instantly adjust your self esteem and self image, thinking of yourself now as a mental giant? No, because most of us don’t know how to make this leap. You and I, all of us, are contained within a tiny box, and there we stay because… well… that’s who we are.

Really, the main thing stopping you from using more of that gigantic capacity is being unaware that it’s possible. Now, however, you know about it, so your only barriers are not knowing HOW to do it, and the belief that you couldn’t do it even if you did know how. So why waste effort on it?

If you ever fully accepted, believed and began using your full mental capacity, what could you accomplish? Imagine a world full of people with that much brain power, that much self esteem, that much competence. How long would poverty last? Illnesses? Wars or famine?

Even today’s political structures would likely morph into something utterly different. Governments, both representative and authoritarian are premised on the idea that a few talented (or powerful) individuals can choose more wisely for us than we can choose for ourselves. And we allow this.

Think of the possibilities. No, really… I mean think. Right now — as an assignment. Think of all the things that would be different in a world where no one believes in victims or oppressors. Where no one would settle for illness or afflictions. Where every person on earth knows what their birthright is — and accepts it in full.

How would you like to live there? Why not make a beginning today? You could start by introducing yourself — right now — to your new, fully-equipped self.

Welcome to the limitless you.

Charles BurkeLevel: PlatinumCharles Burke, retired and living in Thailand, is the author of “inside the Minds of Winners” and “Command More Luck. His blog is located at …

For more information on how to shape your future, download the free PDF report “It’s All Good Luck – Five No-Fail Tips for Turning Bad Luck into Good… Every Time” at http://www.more-luck.com/luckyreport/

After a rather difficult day during a hectic week, I decided to have a “comfort” evening. For me, this means crawling into my oldest most comfortable pajamas, fixing a favorite meal, and watching a well- loved movie. My choice this time was Bridget Jones’s Diary as it always makes me laugh and I think Colin Firth is a real hunk.

I have a favorite scene. It’s where Bridget gets stuck eating dinner with a group of friends, most of whom are married. They give her a hard time about being single. As she gets ready to leave, Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) comes down the stairs and bumbles through a speech about how he likes her even though he shouldn’t. Their conversation is pure “Pride and Prejudice,” but one line he says always brings tears to my eyes.

He says to Bridget, “I like you just the way you are.”

When I hear this line, I always think it is the best pick up line there ever was. Every man should memorize it. I told this to my boyfriend and laughingly said he needed to say this to me more often. He smiled a mischievous grin and said, “This is a line you need to say to yourself more often.”

He’s a wise man, that boyfriend of mine and so right! As a great believer in the power of affirmations, I decided that every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I will say “I like ME just the way I am!”

I’ve been practicing this affirmation for quite awhile and I have found it helpful. I admit there are days when I look in the mirror and it is really hard to get the affirmation out. But I’ve learned to make myself say it with gusto, even if it makes me laugh.

If you struggle with self-confidence, why not try this. It can’t hurt. Say it right now “I like ME just the way I am!” Okay, now say it again with even more feeling. Keep saying it over and over until you feel the power of these eight little words.

It’s okay not to believe these words right away. I know I struggle with it sometimes. I think it’s because it takes time to quiet those old voices, who like Bridget’s married friends, like to remind us of where we fall short. But I really believe if we just keep repeating the phrase, eventually we will convince our minds to believe it.

And there is scientific evidence that supports this. Evidently, you really can teach your mind to believe something you say over and over again. Then again, this ought to make sense. Many of us learned the negative things we believe about ourselves because someone told them to us over and over again. So, why wouldn’t positive affirmations work?

I plan to keep practicing these eight little words and I encourage you to give them a try, as well. Who knows you may find your self-confidence begins to grow the more you repeat the words! For my part, I will get up tomorrow morning, look in the mirror at my squashed hair, sleep wrinkled face and say “I like ME just the way I am!”

It’s the best pick ME up line there ever was!

Sara HealyLevel: BasicSara Healy is a life coach who helps clients work through life transitions using their strengths and values to make positive changes. She particularly loves working …

Sara Healy is a life coach who helps people with life and career transitions using their strengths and values. Find out how she can help you make positive changes in your life by contacting her at: http://www.sarahealy.com