Do you find it hard to feel good about yourself if you do not get affirmation? Two out of three people struggle with low self esteem, and need encouragement and affirmation to feel ok.

I know that this was difficult for me, and it came from when I was a child. If I did well I got attention, but otherwise ignored. so I learned that I had to get approval to be loved. If we learn these habits when we are young then that’s the way we see life.

Reality is that we cannot please everyone. If our self worth is rooted in others affirming us then our self esteem will go up and down like a yo yo and probably be down more than it is up!!

Old habit patterns and responses become well rooted deep within us, and without God are almost impossible to change ourselves.

Often though what we feel God thinks about us is also effected by our past experience and experience growing up. So we find ourselves in a vicious circle which is hard to break out of.

The first step for me was to start believing the truth about what God felt about me and not believe my feelings that were based on my experience.

Once I really started to understand God’s thoughts about me and look to Him for approval, it was like a new door opened in my life which leads to the ‘wide open spaces’ talked about in these two verses I love:

“By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that’s not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.” Romans 5 v. 1 The Message

“Oh, I’ll guard with my life what you’ve revealed to me, guard it now, guard it ever; And I’ll stride freely through wide open spaces as I look for your truth and your wisdom; Then I’ll tell the world what I find, speak out boldly in public, unembarrassed. I cherish your commandments—oh, how I love them!— relishing every fragment of your counsel.” Psalm 119 v 4o-42

If you identify with this I recommend an audio book by Joyce Meyer “Approval Addiction“
You can listen to it over and over again (even while doing other things) and let the truths she shares really sink in deeply and transform your life.

If you have low self esteem, it can cause problems in both home and professional life.
You do not feel good about yourself and this may translate to poor workmanship in the
office, being taken advantage of in personal and professional situations and not living up
to the potential that you have. If you recognize within yourself that you have low self
esteem, boosting self esteem is essential. There are many different ways boosting self
esteem can be accomplished. It will take some time and effort as well as commitment but
it can be done with some knowledge and assistance. The first step in boosting self
esteem is to want to do it. Once you have the desire to do it, you can work on the finer
points of boosting self esteem.

Work on boosting self esteem based on your individual desires and needs. Do not feel a
need to improve or change based on another person’s opinion, especially if there is no
merit in it. If an employer or someone close to you makes a suggestion then you may
want to evaluate it and act on it if it is valid. But do not compare yourself to others who
you do not know. There are always exceptions and parts of someone’s life you are not
aware of. Therefore, trying to live up to someone else’s perceived ideals is setting
yourself up for failure. Improving the items you are able to and want to is a positive step
toward boosting self esteem.

Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and that nobody is perfect. Work on forgiving
yourself for errors you may have made through life. Realize that no matter how
wonderful someone else’s life looks, that they probably have made just as many mistakes
in life as you have. Boosting self esteem includes having a realistic view on those with
whom you interact.

Become comfortable with your physical appearance. Accept that not everyone looks like
a model. In fact, most people do not and truth be told, the models do not either. Models
have fitness trainers, dieticians and people who airbrush flaws so only the perfection is
seen. But even the beautiful people have flaws. If you have a physical condition that can
be changed, work to change it by setting small goals and making lifestyle changes.
However, you should be comfortable in your own skin. Boosting self esteem by being
comfortable with your appearance is highly effective.

Recognize your strengths and accept compliments when those strengths are rewarded. If
you have trouble with boosting self esteem, perhaps you are unaware or unable to
acknowledge all the positive traits you have. Sit down and make a list of all your
accomplishments in life and all the skills you have without focusing on any negative
aspects. You probably have a lot more of them then you might think. Read them over
and re read them any time you need boosting self esteem assistance.

Boosting self esteem can also be accomplished by associating with people who make you
feel good about yourself. Do you have friends, family or coworkers who put you down
or degrade you? Nobody likes that and it can be a huge blow to someone’s self esteem
especially if it happens on a continual basis. Choose to associate with people who uplift
you and are positive about you and about life in general.

by Kevin Christopher

Kevin Christopher is a member of Success University your online personal development and motivational courses faculty. For access to personal development and motivational courses online visit Success University to continue your learning and development.

Many people have a strong opinion on the importance of self-esteem in children. Some people have a negative opinion and believe too much emphasis is placed on self-esteem today. Other’s believe strongly that self-esteem development is crucial in children.
The truth is that both parties have a share in the truth. There is probably too much emphasis on self-esteem today and self-esteem development is crucial. However middle ground can be found between the two groups. The emphasis shouldn’t be on building self-esteem but rather helping children learn and grow so they naturally develop a feeling of worth and value.
Self-esteem is a major key to success in life. The development of a positive self-concept or healthy self-esteem is extremely important to the happiness and success of children.
Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. If you child has high self-esteem she is likely to act independently, assume responsibility, take pride in her accomplishments, tolerate frustration, attempt new tasks and challenges, handle positive and negative emotions, and offer assistance to others. If your child has low self-esteem he will avoid trying new things, feel unloved and unwanted, blame others for his own shortcomings, feel (or pretend to feel) emotionally indifferent, be unable to tolerate a normal level of frustration, put down his own talents and abilities, and be easily influenced.
Parents have the most influence on their child’s self-esteem. Most parents do not realize how great an impact their words and actions have on their child.
Be Quick With Praise
When you feel good about your child, mention it to him. Parents are often quick to express negative feelings to children but often don’t get around to describing positive feelings. A child doesn’t know when you are feeling good about him unless you tell him. He needs to hear you tell him that you like having him in the family. Children remember positive statements we say to them. They store them up and “replay” these statements to themselves. Make a point of giving your child words of encouragement throughout each day. Look for situations in which your child is doing a good job, working hard, trying a new challenge, overcoming a difficulty or displaying a talent.
Lay It On Thick
Be generous with your praise. Use what is called descriptive praise rather than the general, such as “good job”. For example, during a recent swimming lesson my son was expected to swim the length of the pool. He was frightened and didn’t think he could make it. When he successfully accomplished the goal I told him I was proud of him for two things. One for trying even though he was afraid he’d fail and two for pushing himself to reach his goal.
Make Them Talk The Talk
Teach your child to practice making positive self-statements. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is frequently the root cause of depression and anxiety. What we think determines how we feel about ourselves and those feelings determine how we behave. This is the reason it is important to teach children talk to themselves in a positive manner. You can start them off by asking directed questions.
Avoid Name Calling
While it is often important for parents to be critical, the focus should be on the action you would like to see rather than the child. Rather than calling a child a slob for keeping a messy room focus on the desired action, which is to sort clothes and toys into their proper places. Encourage the child by saying something like “I know you can get this place ship shape by dinner” and reward them with specific praise “You did a great job cleaning up your room”.
Always Speak Of Your Child As If They Were Listening
Many parents do a wonderful job of building up their child’s self esteem while spending time with the child. Then later they undo all their good work and let the child overhear some negative comments. It is difficult to explain away or undo this damage as you may well not even know when it occurs. Obviously parents need to communicate with each other about their children and adults often need to vent their frustrations. Just make sure when you do so that your child is not able to overhear. Even a child who is apparently concentrating on play will perk his ears when he hears his name.
If you follow these five methods then your child’s self esteem will grow.
by Deanna Mascle
Deanna Mascle shares more parenting advice in her blog Parents Learn More at http://ParentsLearnMore.com

Low self esteem is not often associated with anxiety attacks, yet researchers have discovered a distinct connection between the two.

Anxiety attacks trigger doubts. Sometimes, it’s unclear to you that this is happening because it’s usually on a sub-conscious level. For instance, if you already have low self-esteem any concerns about taking on a task can trigger an anxiety attack. This is why it’s important that you focus on breaking the chain of low self esteem to stop your anxiety attacks.

People who experience anxiety attacks might be worried about their next school assignment, of going shopping, or of attending a social gathering. In severe cases, they are afraid to leave the house. Just getting to a medical appointment is a major trial for some people.

This is the stage where the chain of low self esteem and anxiety is in full swing.

Regardless of the cause for the anxiety attacks, people who suffer from them also experience low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

But exactly what is self-esteem?

Self esteem develops and evolves throughout our entire lives, beginning in childhood. How we learn to view ourselves as children, based on how we are treated by our parents, siblings, teachers, coaches and religious leaders will contribute to our level of self-esteem.

Our self-esteem is also defined by our successes and failures, and how we learn to handle them. We develop a view of ourselves, our self image, based on how we feel about our abilities to live effectively in the society around us. In childhood, this is a crucial aspect of our growth.

Whether we develop high or low self-esteem, we can be sure of one thing. Our level of confidence will change from one day to the next as a normal part of life. Almost everyone’s feelings and thoughts about themselves fluctuate occasionally in direct relation to the variety of experiences in their daily lives. A recent school or medical exam, how their peers treat them, job pressures and personal relationships all can have a temporary impact on how they feel on a given day.

Low self esteem involves more than just the normal ebb and flow of a person’s sense of well-being in response to everyday situations.

People who have a good, healthy sense of self will sail through those fluctuations with ease and quickly bounce back. Those with an existing low self esteem, on the other hand, can be dramatically affected by those ups and downs. They can experience depression, loneliness, anxiety attacks and panic that can be short lived or long lasting.

In fact, low self esteem can create anxiety, stress, relationship problems, impaired job performance, underachievement and can lead to increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.

As you can see, this chain of low self esteem and anxiety can grow and expand. The resulting negative consequences reinforce the existing negative self-image, leading the person into even lower self-esteem and possibly to self-destructive behavior.

Take Baby Steps

One of the first goals for an anxiety sufferer then, must be to aim at breaking the chain of low self esteem in order to experience full, permanent recovery from their anxiety attacks.

While in a state of low self esteem and depression, and dreading yet more anxiety attacks, it can be difficult to “stretch yourself”, as some people have suggested. Much of the lack of productivity and fear related to tackling otherwise simple tasks is directly linked to the fear of failure.

Failure would present a devastating blow to an already low self esteem. The natural instinct at that point is to do nothing or experience anxiety attacks at the prospect of taking such action.

The key to overcoming this dilemma is to start small in breaking the chain of low self esteem and anxiety, and building your confidence.

One great way to begin this process is to take a close look at your abilities, skills and interests. If you can’t think of any, go back through your school reports if you still have them. Don’t worry if you had poor marks. You’ll undoubtedly find a few subjects in which you excelled. Everyone can do something extra well..

Go down the list and pick out the areas in which you did well. How do you feel about those subjects? Are they things you would like to do again?

It’s important to find something that you’ve already proven you can do well. Most likely, when you recall your success, you will feel at the very least a slight surge of confidence. It can be anything – art class, economics, metal shop, computer work, leadership, sports, drama or music.

Would you want to get involved in that subject again? How would you proceed? Are there instructional manuals you can study? Is there a local workshop you can attend? What about night courses? Does your area have a club specifically for that interest that you can join?

Some abilities include: drawing, designing, playing an instrument, accounting/bookkeeping, drafting, sense of humor, good memory, good with your hands, mechanically inclined, electrical knowledge, working with wood, interior painting, wallpapering, working with textiles… the list is endless.

If you can find an activity that boosts your low self-esteem, makes you feel productive and talented, and gives you something positive to think about instead of focusing on your anxiety, you are sure to start seeing a tremendous improvement in your condition. You will be on the path to breaking the chain of low self esteem and curing your anxiety attacks for good.

If you found this information helpful, here are some highly effective proven programs to assist you in becoming the person you want to be. Low self esteem is not often associated with anxiety attacks, yet researchers have discovered a distinct connection between the two.

Anxiety attacks trigger doubts. Sometimes, it’s unclear to you that this is happening because it’s usually on a sub-conscious level. For instance, if you already have low self-esteem any concerns about taking on a task can trigger an anxiety attack. This is why it’s important that you focus on breaking the chain of low self esteem to stop your anxiety attacks.

People who experience anxiety attacks might be worried about their next school assignment, of going shopping, or of attending a social gathering. In severe cases, they are afraid to leave the house. Just getting to a medical appointment is a major trial for some people.

This is the stage where the chain of low self esteem and anxiety is in full swing.

Regardless of the cause for the anxiety attacks, people who suffer from them also experience low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

But exactly what is self-esteem?

Self esteem develops and evolves throughout our entire lives, beginning in childhood. How we learn to view ourselves as children, based on how we are treated by our parents, siblings, teachers, coaches and religious leaders will contribute to our level of self-esteem.

Our self-esteem is also defined by our successes and failures, and how we learn to handle them. We develop a view of ourselves, our self image, based on how we feel about our abilities to live effectively in the society around us. In childhood, this is a crucial aspect of our growth.

Whether we develop high or low self-esteem, we can be sure of one thing. Our level of confidence will change from one day to the next as a normal part of life. Almost everyone’s feelings and thoughts about themselves fluctuate occasionally in direct relation to the variety of experiences in their daily lives. A recent school or medical exam, how their peers treat them, job pressures and personal relationships all can have a temporary impact on how they feel on a given day.

Low self esteem involves more than just the normal ebb and flow of a person’s sense of well-being in response to everyday situations.

People who have a good, healthy sense of self will sail through those fluctuations with ease and quickly bounce back. Those with an existing low self esteem, on the other hand, can be dramatically affected by those ups and downs. They can experience depression, loneliness, anxiety attacks and panic that can be short lived or long lasting.

In fact, low self esteem can create anxiety, stress, relationship problems, impaired job performance, underachievement and can lead to increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.

As you can see, this chain of low self esteem and anxiety can grow and expand. The resulting negative consequences reinforce the existing negative self-image, leading the person into even lower self-esteem and possibly to self-destructive behavior.

Take Baby Steps

One of the first goals for an anxiety sufferer then, must be to aim at breaking the chain of low self esteem in order to experience full, permanent recovery from their anxiety attacks.

While in a state of low self esteem and depression, and dreading yet more anxiety attacks, it can be difficult to “stretch yourself”, as some people have suggested. Much of the lack of productivity and fear related to tackling otherwise simple tasks is directly linked to the fear of failure.

Failure would present a devastating blow to an already low self esteem. The natural instinct at that point is to do nothing or experience anxiety attacks at the prospect of taking such action.

The key to overcoming this dilemma is to start small in breaking the chain of low self esteem and anxiety, and building your confidence.

One great way to begin this process is to take a close look at your abilities, skills and interests. If you can’t think of any, go back through your school reports if you still have them. Don’t worry if you had poor marks. You’ll undoubtedly find a few subjects in which you excelled. Everyone can do something extra well..

Go down the list and pick out the areas in which you did well. How do you feel about those subjects? Are they things you would like to do again?

It’s important to find something that you’ve already proven you can do well. Most likely, when you recall your success, you will feel at the very least a slight surge of confidence. It can be anything – art class, economics, metal shop, computer work, leadership, sports, drama or music.

Would you want to get involved in that subject again? How would you proceed? Are there instructional manuals you can study? Is there a local workshop you can attend? What about night courses? Does your area have a club specifically for that interest that you can join?

Some abilities include: drawing, designing, playing an instrument, accounting/bookkeeping, drafting, sense of humor, good memory, good with your hands, mechanically inclined, electrical knowledge, working with wood, interior painting, wallpapering, working with textiles… the list is endless.

If you can find an activity that boosts your low self-esteem, makes you feel productive and talented, and gives you something positive to think about instead of focusing on your anxiety, you are sure to start seeing a tremendous improvement in your condition. You will be on the path to breaking the chain of low self esteem and curing your anxiety attacks for good.

If you found this information helpful, here are some highly effective proven programs to assist you in becoming the person you want to be. http://www.book-titles.ca/mental_self_help.htm

by Sylvia Dickens

Sylvia Dickens is an award-winning journalist who has struggled and overcome depression, panic and anxiety. Formerly with the Canadian Mental Health Association, she offers several books on natural anxiety cures, dog training and other popular topics. You can learn more at http://www.book-titles.ca and on her blog.